Thoughts On The Loss of Community in America Part 2
Yesterday I wrote about the loss of community in America and mostly talked about what we have lost. What do we have now?
I lived in San Diego for almost 3 years from 1999-2001. The neighborhood we moved into was intended I believe to encourage community. There were public green spaces instead of individual private yards, lots of sidewalks, and the homes were oriented so as to encourage interaction. Yet somehow there was absolutely zero community. And not for lack of trying. There is only so many times that you can try to strike up a conversation with neighbors as they are trying to escape back into the confines of their home. I'll never forget the day we moved. We had a moving van out front and my next door neighbor walked by. "We'll miss you John." Yeah, that's how close we were.
So when I moved back to Atlanta I knew that I wanted a place with community. I also knew that I didn't want to spend most of my life in a car so we moved into a neighborhood close into town. We also chose a small little street where I hoped we could get to know our neighbors. Once again, it appears that others don't want it. Or are scared. Or are too busy.
That's not to say that community has completely vanished. But it is dwindling. And I think it is one of the biggest challenges facing our society. Yes, even more than the energy crisis. More than threats of terrorism. More than global warming. Because in the face of these threats, community or the lack of community will determine how we get through these crises.
As I mentioned yesterday, I do believe that Christians should be at the forefront of encouraging and building community. Not that non-Christians are incapable or unwilling. Far from it. But Christians are commanded to do it. "Love they neighbor as thyself".
Of course the second greatest commandment according to Jesus is a hard one to live up to. What would it like like if Christians were actually doing this? Not just doing merely symbolic things like putting a fish emblem on their car, or listening to the local "family friendly" radio station, or boycotting the latest offense to Christianity du jour. (As Jerry Seinfeld said "Not that there is anything wrong with that.")
But what if, in the wake of foreclosures in a neighborhood, that Christians in a community came together and paid their neighbor's mortgage payments for a month or two? With no strings attached. No expectation of repayment. Not even expectation of a thanks. Do we Christians take care of the elderly in our neighborhoods? Do we even know them? Do we know any of our neighbors?
This is as much a challenge for me as for others. Am I willing to give myself away to others? If this isn't a revolutionary and counter-cultural idea, I don't know what is.
I started this discussion on community with a mention of my friend Jeff Shinabarger and I am going to finish it with another mention of Jeff. Jeff started on organization called Gift Card Giver with a small idea. How many gift cards do you have lying around? Maybe a $5 card here, a $10 card there. But what if lots of people put those cards together to give to people in need? Is this going to change the world? No. But could it change people's lives? Yes.
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I recently finished a book
I recently finished a book called Making Room for Life by Randy Frazee. He spends a lot fo time discussing ways to build community in your neighborhood. He is the minister of a large church and he eventually claims that the Christian relationships his family developed in their neighborhood became his most passionate mission. I think my wife and I failed miserably with our neighbors when we first moved in but it's something I would like to fix. It feels so much harder though when you feel like you 'missed the boat' after you moved in.
I live in a particularly
I live in a particularly community oriented neighborhood. It is situated 5 minutes from downtown in an older neighborhood. Our neighborhood is made up of all kinds of groups: elderly that have lived there for 40+ years, professors, young families, lots of boomers and other ecclectic types. We have two parks, trails, community gardens, etc. We do not have an uptight neighborhood association (thank goodness, or I'd die). Once a month our neighborhood has a potluck in the park, a couple annual events, as well as a crime watch group and listserve for folks who want neighborhood news (crime, "who's a good plumber, etc?", people interested in welcoming new folks, helping older people living alone) The proactivity of a few helps others to dare to care about those around us. I have the best neighbors in the world! We truly look out for one another. My neighbors have my house and car keys, and I have theirs (I lock myself fairly regularly-it's a curse :-) I've had people bring me meals when I had my daughter, and I've made meals for those around me in times of need. Last week I took my neighbor to a store so she could meet a friend.) We share things if we need them (sugar, flour, eggs) We know our neighbors troubles (health, marital, and otherwise). I understand what a gem of a neighborhood I'm in, and honestly, I wouldn't trade it for a fancier house in a better neighborhood for anything. But I think also it lies with the Christian to make efforts to be there, and be aware of what's going on. Make time to listen. Busyness is a curse in our time, and it's no wonder know one knows what's going on. We're so busy on our phones and computers with people so far removed from our world that we fail to look up and see those people right in front of our faces. We need to strive to slow down and observe a little more. Christmas is a great time to meet neighbors, especially if you have children. Bake your neighbors cookies and take your kids with you. It's a less threatening way to get to meet neighbors. And if you're someone, who has let lots of time pass without contact, and then you have that awkwardness in approaching a neighbor, just swallow your pride and go on anyway and take a chance. You might just be surprised at where it leads.
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